Detail.
Definition: Details are the facts revealed by the author or speaker that support the attitude or tone in a piece of text. Detail includes the facts, observations, reasons, examples, and incidents that a writer uses to develop a subject. Detail also helps focus the reader's attention on important ideas and shapes the reader's understanding of the topic.
Definition: Details are the facts revealed by the author or speaker that support the attitude or tone in a piece of text. Detail includes the facts, observations, reasons, examples, and incidents that a writer uses to develop a subject. Detail also helps focus the reader's attention on important ideas and shapes the reader's understanding of the topic.
Lesson 1: Getting Started with Detail
Notice how different your second list is from your original list. Detail, used well, guides the experience for the reader where the writer wants him/her to go. Think about focus and attitude as you complete the Detail lessons that follow. Pay careful attention to how accomplished writers use concrete, specific details. With practice, you can learn to use details to shape your reader's understanding.
Lesson 2:
Read and think:
On a flat road runs the well-train'd runner,
He is lean and sinewy with muscular legs,
He is thinly clothed, he leans forward as he runs,
With lightly closed fists and arms partially rais'd.
-Walt Whitman, "The Runner," Leaves of Grass
Talk about it:
1. Whitman focuses on the "well-train'd runner" himself--not a race or his speed or an audience. Underline the details that focus your attention on the runner and talk about their effectiveness.
2. Select a detail from the poem that captures a positive quality of the runner. Can you change the positive quality to a negative quality by changing the detail?
Now you try it: Write a paragraph using details to give the reader a picture of an athlete you admire. Don't explain why you admire the athlete. Instead, use details to show the admirable qualities of the athlete. If you want to experiment, try writing a poem, like Whitman's, instead of a paragraph.
Lesson 3:
Read and think:
The rapidly expanding world population is a major pressure on water availability. In countries such as Pakistan and Nigeria, populations are expected to triple by 2050. Not only do more people need more water, but the amount of water people use has doubled in the last 30 years. Rates of usage are still increasing. When standards of living increase, more people across the world benefit from improved sanitation. They start to rely on washing machines, showers, baths, and flushing toilets. The amount of water used per person increases dramatically. -Richard Spilsbury, Managing Water
Talk about it:
1. What is the focus or main idea of this paragraph? What details support and strengthen the main idea?
2. How would the impact of this paragraph change if it were written like this? Think about it in terms of the level of detail provided in the original versus the generic text below.
World population affects water availability. The population in lots of countries is growing. There are more people, and these people are starting to use more water. Improved sanitation requires more water.
Now you try it: Write three sentences that provide detailed support for the main idea of a paragraph. Your paragraph should start with the sentence below and be clearly developed like Spilsbury's paragraph.
There are many different kinds of animals that live in the ocean.
Lesson 4:
Read and think:
Just at daybreak, I was awakened by a series of awful screams from Bill. They weren't yells, or howls, or shouts, or whoops, or yawps, such as you'd expect from a manly set of vocal organs - they were simply indecent, terrifying, humiliating screams, such as women emit when they see ghosts or caterpillars. It's an awful thing to hear a strong, desperate, fat man scream incontinently in a cave at daybreak.
-O. Henry, "The Ransom of Red Chief"
Talk about it:
1. What is the main idea (topic sentence) or focus of this paragraph? State it as simply as you can. How do the details in this paragraph make the main idea come alive?
2. What effect do the details in the description of the man in the last sentence ("a strong, desperate, fat man") have on the meaning of the paragraph?
Now your try it: Write a simple topic sentence that describes an incident that you remember very well. Then list all of the details you can think of that would help someone else understand what happened. Share your sentence and list with a partner. After your partner has read your sentence and list, have him/her explain to you why your memory of this incident is so vivid. If your list is full of concrete details, your parter should be able to do this easily.
Lesson 5:
Read and think:
So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance. -Franklin D. Roosevelt, First Inaugural Address, March 4, 1933
Talk about it:
1. The focus of Roosevelt's sentence is on fear. Discuss the details in the sentence that help you understand exactly what he means by fear.
2. How would the feeling and impact of this passage change if Roosevelt had written it like this?
First, let me tell you that fear itself is the only thing we really need to fear.
Now you try it: Complete the following sentence with details that help your reader know exactly what you mean. Use Roosevelt's sentence as a model.
Let me assert my firm belief that a happy life must include friends--
Lesson 6:
Read and think:
I found employment, the third day after my arrival, in stowing a sloop* with a load of oil. It was new, dirty, and hard work for me; but I went at it with a glad heart and a willing hand. I was now my own master. It was a happy moment, the rapture of which can be understood only by those who have been slaves. It was the first work, the reward of which was to be entirely my own. There was no Master Hugh standing ready, the moment I earned the money, to rob me of it. I worked that day with a pleasure I had never before experienced. I was at work for myself and newly-married wife. It was to me the starting-point of a new existence.
-Frederick Douglass, Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, An America Slave
*a sailing boat
Talk about it:
1. The first sentence of the passage is a general statement, stating that Douglass, newly escaped from slavery, has a job. The rest of the paragraph uses details to help the reader understand the nature and importance of the job. What details do you remember most about this paragraph? Why do you think that is so?
2. Underline the details that help the reader understand Douglass's happiness. What effect do these details have on the reader?
Now you try it: Write a paragraph that starts with the following sentence: I went to a football game Friday evening. Then use detail to capture the aspects of the game you liked. Don't explain why you liked the game. Instead bring the reader into the experience fo the game through carefully chosen detail.
Lesson 7:
Read and think:
As I was waiting, a man came out of a side room, and at a glance I was sure he must be Long John. His left leg was cut off close by the hip, and under the left shoulder he carried a crutch, which he managed with wonderful dexterity, hopping about upon it like a bird. He was very tall and strong, with a face as big as a ham — plain and pale, but intelligent and smiling. Indeed, he seemed in the most cheerful spirits, whistling as he moved about among the tables, with a merry word or a slap on the shoulder for the more favoured of his guests.
-Robert Louis Stevenson, Treasure Island
Talk about it:
1. Look at the following rewriting of the second sentence in the paragraph:
He was missing a leg and walked with a crutch , which he used well.
Which sentence is more alive and engrossing? Which one brings you into the scene? Why?
2. Sketch a little picture of Long John. What details are in your sketch? Why are they memorable?
Now you try it: Rewrite Stevenson's sentence below, replacing all of the underlined words with words of your own. Your sentence should describe a mean neighbor.
He was very tall and strong, with a face as big as a ham-plain and pale, but intelligent and smiling.
Lesson 8:
Read and think:
If you shut your eyes and are a lucky one, you may see at times a shapeless pool of lovely pale colours suspended in the darkness; then if you squeeze your eyes tighter, the pool begins to take shape, and the colours become so vivid that with another squeeze they must go on fire. But just before they go on fire you see the lagoon. This is the nearest you ever get to it on the mainland, just one heavenly moment; if there could be two moments you might see the surf and hear the mermaids singing. -J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
Think about it:
1. Think of one word of your choice to describe the lagoon. Which details in the passage support your word choice?
2. The narrator in this passage talks directly to the reader. Which details help the reader to fully participate in the scene?
Now you try it: Rewrite Barrie's description eliminating all of the specific detail. Discuss the change in impact and meaning.
Lesson 9:
Read and think:
More than half of the day was far from enjoyable. The morning was magnificent, but the light too dazzling, the sun too fierce. As soon as I got out I felt as if I should drop off the horse. My large handkerchief kept the sun from my neck, but the fierce heat caused soul and sense, brain and eye, to reel. I never saw or felt the like of it. I was at a height of 12,000 feet, where, of course, the air was highly rarefied,* and the snow was so pure and dazzling that I was obliged to keep my eyes shut as much as possible to avoid snow blindness. The sky was a different and terribly fierce color; and when I caught a glimpse of the sun, he was white and unwinking like a lime-ball light, yet threw off wicked scintillations. I suffered so from nausea, exhaustion, and pains from head to foot, that I felt as if I must lie down in the snow. It may have been partly the early stage of soroche, or mountain sickness. -Isabella L. Bird, A Lady's Life in the Rocky Mountains
*thin, containing little oxygen
Talk about it:
1. As Bird begins the description of this day, she says, "More than half of the day was far from enjoyable." Which details support this statement? Fill in the chart below with details.
- Take a few minutes to think of a shopping trip to your favorite mall. Think about everything you might look at in that mall.
- Now make a list of the details you might focus on during a shopping trip to the mall.
- Next, decide on your focus: people, clothes, food, variety of experiences, commercialism, stores, unexpected things you find, activities, specific parts of the mall (like the food court). After you have decided, write down your focus.
- Now write down your attitude. Are you thrilled, critical, neutral, mocking, angry, awed?
- Finally, list as many details as you can that support your focus and develop your attitude. Choose only details that help your reader understand the focus and attitude you want to convey.
- This time, shift your attention, and think about your favorite time of year at the mall. Your favorite time of year is the focus. Your attitude should be celebratory and happy. List all the details you can that support this focus and attitude.
Notice how different your second list is from your original list. Detail, used well, guides the experience for the reader where the writer wants him/her to go. Think about focus and attitude as you complete the Detail lessons that follow. Pay careful attention to how accomplished writers use concrete, specific details. With practice, you can learn to use details to shape your reader's understanding.
Lesson 2:
Read and think:
On a flat road runs the well-train'd runner,
He is lean and sinewy with muscular legs,
He is thinly clothed, he leans forward as he runs,
With lightly closed fists and arms partially rais'd.
-Walt Whitman, "The Runner," Leaves of Grass
Talk about it:
1. Whitman focuses on the "well-train'd runner" himself--not a race or his speed or an audience. Underline the details that focus your attention on the runner and talk about their effectiveness.
2. Select a detail from the poem that captures a positive quality of the runner. Can you change the positive quality to a negative quality by changing the detail?
Now you try it: Write a paragraph using details to give the reader a picture of an athlete you admire. Don't explain why you admire the athlete. Instead, use details to show the admirable qualities of the athlete. If you want to experiment, try writing a poem, like Whitman's, instead of a paragraph.
Lesson 3:
Read and think:
The rapidly expanding world population is a major pressure on water availability. In countries such as Pakistan and Nigeria, populations are expected to triple by 2050. Not only do more people need more water, but the amount of water people use has doubled in the last 30 years. Rates of usage are still increasing. When standards of living increase, more people across the world benefit from improved sanitation. They start to rely on washing machines, showers, baths, and flushing toilets. The amount of water used per person increases dramatically. -Richard Spilsbury, Managing Water
Talk about it:
1. What is the focus or main idea of this paragraph? What details support and strengthen the main idea?
2. How would the impact of this paragraph change if it were written like this? Think about it in terms of the level of detail provided in the original versus the generic text below.
World population affects water availability. The population in lots of countries is growing. There are more people, and these people are starting to use more water. Improved sanitation requires more water.
Now you try it: Write three sentences that provide detailed support for the main idea of a paragraph. Your paragraph should start with the sentence below and be clearly developed like Spilsbury's paragraph.
There are many different kinds of animals that live in the ocean.
Lesson 4:
Read and think:
Just at daybreak, I was awakened by a series of awful screams from Bill. They weren't yells, or howls, or shouts, or whoops, or yawps, such as you'd expect from a manly set of vocal organs - they were simply indecent, terrifying, humiliating screams, such as women emit when they see ghosts or caterpillars. It's an awful thing to hear a strong, desperate, fat man scream incontinently in a cave at daybreak.
-O. Henry, "The Ransom of Red Chief"
Talk about it:
1. What is the main idea (topic sentence) or focus of this paragraph? State it as simply as you can. How do the details in this paragraph make the main idea come alive?
2. What effect do the details in the description of the man in the last sentence ("a strong, desperate, fat man") have on the meaning of the paragraph?
Now your try it: Write a simple topic sentence that describes an incident that you remember very well. Then list all of the details you can think of that would help someone else understand what happened. Share your sentence and list with a partner. After your partner has read your sentence and list, have him/her explain to you why your memory of this incident is so vivid. If your list is full of concrete details, your parter should be able to do this easily.
Lesson 5:
Read and think:
So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance. -Franklin D. Roosevelt, First Inaugural Address, March 4, 1933
Talk about it:
1. The focus of Roosevelt's sentence is on fear. Discuss the details in the sentence that help you understand exactly what he means by fear.
2. How would the feeling and impact of this passage change if Roosevelt had written it like this?
First, let me tell you that fear itself is the only thing we really need to fear.
Now you try it: Complete the following sentence with details that help your reader know exactly what you mean. Use Roosevelt's sentence as a model.
Let me assert my firm belief that a happy life must include friends--
Lesson 6:
Read and think:
I found employment, the third day after my arrival, in stowing a sloop* with a load of oil. It was new, dirty, and hard work for me; but I went at it with a glad heart and a willing hand. I was now my own master. It was a happy moment, the rapture of which can be understood only by those who have been slaves. It was the first work, the reward of which was to be entirely my own. There was no Master Hugh standing ready, the moment I earned the money, to rob me of it. I worked that day with a pleasure I had never before experienced. I was at work for myself and newly-married wife. It was to me the starting-point of a new existence.
-Frederick Douglass, Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, An America Slave
*a sailing boat
Talk about it:
1. The first sentence of the passage is a general statement, stating that Douglass, newly escaped from slavery, has a job. The rest of the paragraph uses details to help the reader understand the nature and importance of the job. What details do you remember most about this paragraph? Why do you think that is so?
2. Underline the details that help the reader understand Douglass's happiness. What effect do these details have on the reader?
Now you try it: Write a paragraph that starts with the following sentence: I went to a football game Friday evening. Then use detail to capture the aspects of the game you liked. Don't explain why you liked the game. Instead bring the reader into the experience fo the game through carefully chosen detail.
Lesson 7:
Read and think:
As I was waiting, a man came out of a side room, and at a glance I was sure he must be Long John. His left leg was cut off close by the hip, and under the left shoulder he carried a crutch, which he managed with wonderful dexterity, hopping about upon it like a bird. He was very tall and strong, with a face as big as a ham — plain and pale, but intelligent and smiling. Indeed, he seemed in the most cheerful spirits, whistling as he moved about among the tables, with a merry word or a slap on the shoulder for the more favoured of his guests.
-Robert Louis Stevenson, Treasure Island
Talk about it:
1. Look at the following rewriting of the second sentence in the paragraph:
He was missing a leg and walked with a crutch , which he used well.
Which sentence is more alive and engrossing? Which one brings you into the scene? Why?
2. Sketch a little picture of Long John. What details are in your sketch? Why are they memorable?
Now you try it: Rewrite Stevenson's sentence below, replacing all of the underlined words with words of your own. Your sentence should describe a mean neighbor.
He was very tall and strong, with a face as big as a ham-plain and pale, but intelligent and smiling.
Lesson 8:
Read and think:
If you shut your eyes and are a lucky one, you may see at times a shapeless pool of lovely pale colours suspended in the darkness; then if you squeeze your eyes tighter, the pool begins to take shape, and the colours become so vivid that with another squeeze they must go on fire. But just before they go on fire you see the lagoon. This is the nearest you ever get to it on the mainland, just one heavenly moment; if there could be two moments you might see the surf and hear the mermaids singing. -J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
Think about it:
1. Think of one word of your choice to describe the lagoon. Which details in the passage support your word choice?
2. The narrator in this passage talks directly to the reader. Which details help the reader to fully participate in the scene?
Now you try it: Rewrite Barrie's description eliminating all of the specific detail. Discuss the change in impact and meaning.
Lesson 9:
Read and think:
More than half of the day was far from enjoyable. The morning was magnificent, but the light too dazzling, the sun too fierce. As soon as I got out I felt as if I should drop off the horse. My large handkerchief kept the sun from my neck, but the fierce heat caused soul and sense, brain and eye, to reel. I never saw or felt the like of it. I was at a height of 12,000 feet, where, of course, the air was highly rarefied,* and the snow was so pure and dazzling that I was obliged to keep my eyes shut as much as possible to avoid snow blindness. The sky was a different and terribly fierce color; and when I caught a glimpse of the sun, he was white and unwinking like a lime-ball light, yet threw off wicked scintillations. I suffered so from nausea, exhaustion, and pains from head to foot, that I felt as if I must lie down in the snow. It may have been partly the early stage of soroche, or mountain sickness. -Isabella L. Bird, A Lady's Life in the Rocky Mountains
*thin, containing little oxygen
Talk about it:
1. As Bird begins the description of this day, she says, "More than half of the day was far from enjoyable." Which details support this statement? Fill in the chart below with details.
2. Why do you think Bird describes the discomfort of the mountains and does not mention the beauty of the scene?
Now you try it: Write two sentences to describe a splendid day. Don't explain, but give details to make the day come alive for the reader. Your details should focus on the weather and your physical condition. Use Bird's paragraph as a model.
Lesson 10:
Read and think:
Even in the days before my teacher came, I used to feel along the square stiff boxwood hedges, and, guided by the sense of smell, would find the first violets and lilies. There, too, after a fit of temper, I went to find comfort and to hide my hot face in the cool leaves and grass. What joy it was to lose myself in that garden of flowers, to wander happily from spot to spot, until, coming suddenly upon a beautiful vine, I recognized it by its leaves and blossoms, and knew it was the vine which covered the tumble-down summer-house at the farther end of the garden! -Helen Keller, The Story of My Life
Talk about it:
1. Helen Keller contracted an illness when she was 19 months old that left her blind and deaf. She eventually had a brilliant teacher who taught her to read, write, and speak--experiences that are described in her autobiography. Do the experiences described in this paragraph happen before or after Keller learns to read, write, and speak? How do you know? Focus on detail.
2. How would the impact of Keller's paragraph change if it were written like this?
Before I learned to read, write, and speak, life was hard. I ad a bad temper and needed a lot of comfort. I used to go in the garden and feel my way around. Sometimes that made me happy.
Now you try it: Write a paragraph about a place you have gone to find comfort. Based on Keller's paragraph, use the following sentence frame as a guide.
When I was feeling sad, I went to _____________________________________. How comforting it was to _____________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________!
Lesson 11:
Read and think:
Sherlock Holmes took the lamp and led the way, for Thaddeus Sholto's teeth were chattering in his head. So shaken was he that I had to pass my hand under his arm as we went up the stairs, for his knees were trembling under him. Twice as we ascended Holmes whipped his lens out of his pocket and carefully examined marks which appeared to me to be mere shapeless smudges of dust upon the cocoa-nut matting which served as a stair- carpet. He walked slowly from step to step, holding the lamp, and shooting keen glances to right and left. -Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Sign of the Four
Talk about it:
1. What kind of man is Sherlock Holmes? Which details in this paragraph reveal his character?
2. How would it change the impact of the paragraph if we changed the paragraph to this?
Sherlock Holmes led the way upstairs. He walked slowly and looked carefully at everything.
Now you try it: Write a paragraph describing someone you admire. Don't explain why you think the person is admirable. Instead, use vivid detail to capture the person's actions. These actions should reveal the person's admirable qualities. Use Doyle's paragraph as a model.
Lesson 12:
Read and think:
Whenever he was so fortunate as to have near him a hare that had been kept too long, or a meat pie made with rancid butter, he gorged himself with such violence that his veins swelled, and the moisture broke out on his forehead.
-Thomas Babington Macaulay, "Samuel Johnson"
Talk about it:
1. What effect does the detail (the spoiled hare, the rancid butter, the swollen veins, the sweaty forehead) have on the reader?
2. How would the meaning of the sentence be changed by ending it after himself?
Now you try it: Write a sentence describing someone with disgusting eating habits. It must be one, correct sentence; and it must contain at least three vivid details.
Lesson 13:
Read and think:
As an old man, Don Tomasito, the baker, played the tuba. When he blew into the huge mouthpiece, his face would turn purple and his thousand wrinkles would disappear as his skin filled out. -Alberto Alvaro Rios, "The Iguana Killer"
Talk about it:
1. The first sentence is a general statement. How does the second sentence enrich and intensify the first?
2. Contrast the second sentence with the following:
When he blew the tuba, his face turned purple and his cheeks puffed out.
Which sentence more effectively expresses an attitude toward Tomasito? What is that attitude and how is it communicated?
Now you try it: Describe someone jumping over a puddle. Your first sentence should be general, stating the action simply. Your second sentence should clarify and intensify the action through detail.
Lesson 14:
Read and think: CHARLEY (to WILLY): Why must everybody like you? Who liked J. P. Morgan? Was he impressive? In a Turkish bath he’d look like a butcher. But with his pockets on he was very well liked. Now listen, Willy, I know you don’t like me, and nobody can say I’m in love with you, but I’ll give you a job because — just for the hell of it, put it that way. Now what do you say?
-Arthur Miller, Death of a Salesman
Talk about it:
1. Who was J.P. Morgan? What is a Turkish bath? What picture comes to mind when someone is said to look like a butcher? How do these details contribute to the point Charley is trying to make?
2. How would the passage be different if Charley said J.P. Morgan would look like a baker in a Turkish bath.
Now you try it: Think of someone famous and powerful. Use detail to create an unflattering but accurate description of the physical appearance of this famous person. Model your description on Miller's description of J.P. Morgan.
Lesson 15:
Read and think:
To those who saw him often he seemed almost like two men: one the merry monarch of the hunt and banquet and procession, the friend of children, the patron of every kind of sport; the other the cold, acute observer of the audience chamber or the Council, watching vigilantly, weighing arguments, refusing except under the stress of great events to speak his own mind.
-Winston Churchill, “King Henry VIII,” Churchill’s History of the English- Speaking People’s
Talk about it:
1. Churchill draws attention to the contrasting sides of Henry VIII through detail. How is the impact of this sentence strengthened by the order of the details’ presentation?
2. What is Churchill’s attitude toward Henry? What specific details reveal this attitude?
Now you try it: Think of someone you know who has two strong sides to his/her personality. Using Churchill’s sentence as a model, write a sentence which captures – through detail – these two sides.
Lesson 16:
Read and think:
The truck lurched down the goat path, over the bridge and swung south toward El Puerto. I watched carefully all that we left behind.We passed Rosie's house and at the clothesline right at the edge of the cliff there was a young girl hanging out brightly colored garments. She was soon lost in the furrow of dust the truck raised. - Rudolph Anaya, Bless Me, Ultima
Talk about it:
1. Which words provide specific detail and contribute to the power of the passage?
2) Contrast the third sentence with:
We passed Rosie's house and saw a girl hanging out the clothes.
Explain the difference in the impact.
Now you try it: Rewrite the passage eliminating the specific detail. How does the elimination of detail change the meaning of the passage?
Lesson 17:
Read and think: He went on till he came to the first milestone, which stood in the bank, halfway up a steep hill. He rested his basket on the top of the stone, placed his elbows on it, and gave way to a convulsive twitch, which was worse than a sob, because it was so hard and so dry. —Thomas Hardy, The Mayor of Casterbridge
Talk about it:
1. How do the details in this passage prepare you for the convulsive twitch at the end of the passage?
2. This passage does not describe the character’s face at all. What effect does this lack of detail have on the reader?
Now you try it: Plan a pantomime of the scene described and perform it for the class. After several people have performed, discuss the facial expressions they used in their pantomimes. Discuss the similarities and differences and how they relate to the use of detail in the passage.
Lesson 18:
Read and think:
The dog stood up and growled like a lion, stiff-standing hackles, stiff muscles, teeth uncovered as he lashed up his fury for the charge. Tea Cake split the water like an otter, opening his knife as he dived. The dog raced down the backbone of the cow to the attack and Janie screamed and slipped far back on the tail of the cow, just out of reach of the dog’s angry jaws.
-Zora Neale Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching Gods
Talk about it:
1. Which details reveal that the dog has rabies? What effect do these details have on the reader?
2. Contrast the details used to describe Tea Cake (the male protagonist) and Janie (the female protagonist). What do these details reveal about the author's attitude toward these two characters?
Now you try it: Think of two contrasting characters. Write a sentence for each showing their reaction to a fight. Do not explain the different reactions; instead, show the different reactions through use of detail.
Lesson 19:
Read and think:
MRS. VENABLE: . . . And the sand all alive, all alive, as the hatched sea-turtles made their dash for the sea, while the birds hovered and swooped to attack and hovered and—swooped to attack! They were diving down on the hatched sea-turtles, turning them over to expose their soft undersides, tearing the undersides open and rending and eating their flesh.
-Tennessee Williams, Suddenly Last Summer
Talk about it:
1. Williams uses the repetition of detail in three places in this passage. Identify the three places and discuss whether the repetition enhances or detracts from the overall effect of the passage.
2. What is Mrs. Venable’s attitude toward the scene she describes? Which specific details reveal this attitude?
Now you try it: With a partner write a detailed description of a sporting event. Emphasize some violent or extreme action by repeating at least two vivid details. Try to create a feeling of revulsion through your choice of details.
Lesson 20:
Read and think:
If my mother was in a singing mood, it wasn’t so bad. She would sing about hard times, bad times, and somebody-done-gone-and-left-me times. But her voice was so sweet and her singing-eyes so melty I found myself longing for those hard times, yearning to be grown without “a thin di-I-me to my name.” I looked forward to the delicious time when “my man” would leave me, when I would “hate to see that evening sun go down . . .” ‘cause then I would know “my man has left this town.” Misery colored by the greens and blues in my mother’s voice took all of the grief out of the words and left me with a conviction that pain was not only endurable, it was sweet.
-Toni Morrison, The Bluest Eye
Talk about it:
1. Why are parts of the passage in quotation marks? What do the quoted details add to the passage?
2. Which details in the passage contribute to the conclusion that pain is sweet? Fill in the chart below to show how Morrison sets up this oxymoron.
Now you try it: Write two sentences to describe a splendid day. Don't explain, but give details to make the day come alive for the reader. Your details should focus on the weather and your physical condition. Use Bird's paragraph as a model.
Lesson 10:
Read and think:
Even in the days before my teacher came, I used to feel along the square stiff boxwood hedges, and, guided by the sense of smell, would find the first violets and lilies. There, too, after a fit of temper, I went to find comfort and to hide my hot face in the cool leaves and grass. What joy it was to lose myself in that garden of flowers, to wander happily from spot to spot, until, coming suddenly upon a beautiful vine, I recognized it by its leaves and blossoms, and knew it was the vine which covered the tumble-down summer-house at the farther end of the garden! -Helen Keller, The Story of My Life
Talk about it:
1. Helen Keller contracted an illness when she was 19 months old that left her blind and deaf. She eventually had a brilliant teacher who taught her to read, write, and speak--experiences that are described in her autobiography. Do the experiences described in this paragraph happen before or after Keller learns to read, write, and speak? How do you know? Focus on detail.
2. How would the impact of Keller's paragraph change if it were written like this?
Before I learned to read, write, and speak, life was hard. I ad a bad temper and needed a lot of comfort. I used to go in the garden and feel my way around. Sometimes that made me happy.
Now you try it: Write a paragraph about a place you have gone to find comfort. Based on Keller's paragraph, use the following sentence frame as a guide.
When I was feeling sad, I went to _____________________________________. How comforting it was to _____________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________!
Lesson 11:
Read and think:
Sherlock Holmes took the lamp and led the way, for Thaddeus Sholto's teeth were chattering in his head. So shaken was he that I had to pass my hand under his arm as we went up the stairs, for his knees were trembling under him. Twice as we ascended Holmes whipped his lens out of his pocket and carefully examined marks which appeared to me to be mere shapeless smudges of dust upon the cocoa-nut matting which served as a stair- carpet. He walked slowly from step to step, holding the lamp, and shooting keen glances to right and left. -Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Sign of the Four
Talk about it:
1. What kind of man is Sherlock Holmes? Which details in this paragraph reveal his character?
2. How would it change the impact of the paragraph if we changed the paragraph to this?
Sherlock Holmes led the way upstairs. He walked slowly and looked carefully at everything.
Now you try it: Write a paragraph describing someone you admire. Don't explain why you think the person is admirable. Instead, use vivid detail to capture the person's actions. These actions should reveal the person's admirable qualities. Use Doyle's paragraph as a model.
Lesson 12:
Read and think:
Whenever he was so fortunate as to have near him a hare that had been kept too long, or a meat pie made with rancid butter, he gorged himself with such violence that his veins swelled, and the moisture broke out on his forehead.
-Thomas Babington Macaulay, "Samuel Johnson"
Talk about it:
1. What effect does the detail (the spoiled hare, the rancid butter, the swollen veins, the sweaty forehead) have on the reader?
2. How would the meaning of the sentence be changed by ending it after himself?
Now you try it: Write a sentence describing someone with disgusting eating habits. It must be one, correct sentence; and it must contain at least three vivid details.
Lesson 13:
Read and think:
As an old man, Don Tomasito, the baker, played the tuba. When he blew into the huge mouthpiece, his face would turn purple and his thousand wrinkles would disappear as his skin filled out. -Alberto Alvaro Rios, "The Iguana Killer"
Talk about it:
1. The first sentence is a general statement. How does the second sentence enrich and intensify the first?
2. Contrast the second sentence with the following:
When he blew the tuba, his face turned purple and his cheeks puffed out.
Which sentence more effectively expresses an attitude toward Tomasito? What is that attitude and how is it communicated?
Now you try it: Describe someone jumping over a puddle. Your first sentence should be general, stating the action simply. Your second sentence should clarify and intensify the action through detail.
Lesson 14:
Read and think: CHARLEY (to WILLY): Why must everybody like you? Who liked J. P. Morgan? Was he impressive? In a Turkish bath he’d look like a butcher. But with his pockets on he was very well liked. Now listen, Willy, I know you don’t like me, and nobody can say I’m in love with you, but I’ll give you a job because — just for the hell of it, put it that way. Now what do you say?
-Arthur Miller, Death of a Salesman
Talk about it:
1. Who was J.P. Morgan? What is a Turkish bath? What picture comes to mind when someone is said to look like a butcher? How do these details contribute to the point Charley is trying to make?
2. How would the passage be different if Charley said J.P. Morgan would look like a baker in a Turkish bath.
Now you try it: Think of someone famous and powerful. Use detail to create an unflattering but accurate description of the physical appearance of this famous person. Model your description on Miller's description of J.P. Morgan.
Lesson 15:
Read and think:
To those who saw him often he seemed almost like two men: one the merry monarch of the hunt and banquet and procession, the friend of children, the patron of every kind of sport; the other the cold, acute observer of the audience chamber or the Council, watching vigilantly, weighing arguments, refusing except under the stress of great events to speak his own mind.
-Winston Churchill, “King Henry VIII,” Churchill’s History of the English- Speaking People’s
Talk about it:
1. Churchill draws attention to the contrasting sides of Henry VIII through detail. How is the impact of this sentence strengthened by the order of the details’ presentation?
2. What is Churchill’s attitude toward Henry? What specific details reveal this attitude?
Now you try it: Think of someone you know who has two strong sides to his/her personality. Using Churchill’s sentence as a model, write a sentence which captures – through detail – these two sides.
Lesson 16:
Read and think:
The truck lurched down the goat path, over the bridge and swung south toward El Puerto. I watched carefully all that we left behind.We passed Rosie's house and at the clothesline right at the edge of the cliff there was a young girl hanging out brightly colored garments. She was soon lost in the furrow of dust the truck raised. - Rudolph Anaya, Bless Me, Ultima
Talk about it:
1. Which words provide specific detail and contribute to the power of the passage?
2) Contrast the third sentence with:
We passed Rosie's house and saw a girl hanging out the clothes.
Explain the difference in the impact.
Now you try it: Rewrite the passage eliminating the specific detail. How does the elimination of detail change the meaning of the passage?
Lesson 17:
Read and think: He went on till he came to the first milestone, which stood in the bank, halfway up a steep hill. He rested his basket on the top of the stone, placed his elbows on it, and gave way to a convulsive twitch, which was worse than a sob, because it was so hard and so dry. —Thomas Hardy, The Mayor of Casterbridge
Talk about it:
1. How do the details in this passage prepare you for the convulsive twitch at the end of the passage?
2. This passage does not describe the character’s face at all. What effect does this lack of detail have on the reader?
Now you try it: Plan a pantomime of the scene described and perform it for the class. After several people have performed, discuss the facial expressions they used in their pantomimes. Discuss the similarities and differences and how they relate to the use of detail in the passage.
Lesson 18:
Read and think:
The dog stood up and growled like a lion, stiff-standing hackles, stiff muscles, teeth uncovered as he lashed up his fury for the charge. Tea Cake split the water like an otter, opening his knife as he dived. The dog raced down the backbone of the cow to the attack and Janie screamed and slipped far back on the tail of the cow, just out of reach of the dog’s angry jaws.
-Zora Neale Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching Gods
Talk about it:
1. Which details reveal that the dog has rabies? What effect do these details have on the reader?
2. Contrast the details used to describe Tea Cake (the male protagonist) and Janie (the female protagonist). What do these details reveal about the author's attitude toward these two characters?
Now you try it: Think of two contrasting characters. Write a sentence for each showing their reaction to a fight. Do not explain the different reactions; instead, show the different reactions through use of detail.
Lesson 19:
Read and think:
MRS. VENABLE: . . . And the sand all alive, all alive, as the hatched sea-turtles made their dash for the sea, while the birds hovered and swooped to attack and hovered and—swooped to attack! They were diving down on the hatched sea-turtles, turning them over to expose their soft undersides, tearing the undersides open and rending and eating their flesh.
-Tennessee Williams, Suddenly Last Summer
Talk about it:
1. Williams uses the repetition of detail in three places in this passage. Identify the three places and discuss whether the repetition enhances or detracts from the overall effect of the passage.
2. What is Mrs. Venable’s attitude toward the scene she describes? Which specific details reveal this attitude?
Now you try it: With a partner write a detailed description of a sporting event. Emphasize some violent or extreme action by repeating at least two vivid details. Try to create a feeling of revulsion through your choice of details.
Lesson 20:
Read and think:
If my mother was in a singing mood, it wasn’t so bad. She would sing about hard times, bad times, and somebody-done-gone-and-left-me times. But her voice was so sweet and her singing-eyes so melty I found myself longing for those hard times, yearning to be grown without “a thin di-I-me to my name.” I looked forward to the delicious time when “my man” would leave me, when I would “hate to see that evening sun go down . . .” ‘cause then I would know “my man has left this town.” Misery colored by the greens and blues in my mother’s voice took all of the grief out of the words and left me with a conviction that pain was not only endurable, it was sweet.
-Toni Morrison, The Bluest Eye
Talk about it:
1. Why are parts of the passage in quotation marks? What do the quoted details add to the passage?
2. Which details in the passage contribute to the conclusion that pain is sweet? Fill in the chart below to show how Morrison sets up this oxymoron.
Now you try it: Think of a paradoxical feeling such as sweet pain, healthful illness, or frightening comfort; then make a chart listing two details for each side of the paradox. Use the chart above as a model. Lesson 21:
Read and think:
About suffering they were never wrong,
The old Masters: how well they understood
Its human position: how it takes place
While someone else is eating or opening a window or just walking dully along;
-W.H. Auden, "Musee des Beaux Arts"
Talk about it:
1. Suffering is a general term. What is a general term that sums up the detail in line 4?
2. Compare line 4 with the following:
While someone else is not suffering;
Why is Auden's line more effective?
Now you try it: Substitute the word laziness for suffering in line one of the poem. Now rewrite line four to complete the following:
While someone else is ____________________ or ____________________ or ____________________.
Your new line should give details about the opposite condition of laziness. Use Auden's line as a model. Lesson 22:
Read and think:
Under the hard, tough cloak of the struggle for existence in which money and enormous white refrigerators and shining, massive, brutally-fast cars and fine, expensive clothing had ostensibly overwhelmed the qualities of men that were good and gentle and just, there still beat a heart of kindness and patience and forgiveness. -John Okada, No-No Boy
Talk about it:
1. What does Okada’s choice of detail reveal about his attitude toward money?
2. How would the elimination of and enormous white refrigerators and shining, massive, brutally-fast cars and fine, expensive clothing modify the meaning and effectiveness of the sentence? Fill in the chart below with details that support your understanding of Okada's attitude toward money.
Read and think:
About suffering they were never wrong,
The old Masters: how well they understood
Its human position: how it takes place
While someone else is eating or opening a window or just walking dully along;
-W.H. Auden, "Musee des Beaux Arts"
Talk about it:
1. Suffering is a general term. What is a general term that sums up the detail in line 4?
2. Compare line 4 with the following:
While someone else is not suffering;
Why is Auden's line more effective?
Now you try it: Substitute the word laziness for suffering in line one of the poem. Now rewrite line four to complete the following:
While someone else is ____________________ or ____________________ or ____________________.
Your new line should give details about the opposite condition of laziness. Use Auden's line as a model. Lesson 22:
Read and think:
Under the hard, tough cloak of the struggle for existence in which money and enormous white refrigerators and shining, massive, brutally-fast cars and fine, expensive clothing had ostensibly overwhelmed the qualities of men that were good and gentle and just, there still beat a heart of kindness and patience and forgiveness. -John Okada, No-No Boy
Talk about it:
1. What does Okada’s choice of detail reveal about his attitude toward money?
2. How would the elimination of and enormous white refrigerators and shining, massive, brutally-fast cars and fine, expensive clothing modify the meaning and effectiveness of the sentence? Fill in the chart below with details that support your understanding of Okada's attitude toward money.
Now you try it: Choose a general noun then list three concrete noun phrases that reflect your opinion of the general noun. For example, Okada uses “money” as a general noun. He then expresses his opinion of money with detailed noun phrases.
Lesson 23:
Read and think:
I rounded the hut and saw a man’s dead body sprawling in the mud. He was an Indian, a black Dravidian coolie almost naked, and he could not have been dead many minutes. The people said that the elephant had come suddenly upon him round the corner of the hut, caught him with its trunk, put its foot on his back and ground him into the earth. This was the rainy season and the ground was soft, and his face had scored a trench a foot deep and a couple of yards long. He was lying on his belly with arms crucified and head sharply twisted to one side. His face was coated with mud, the eyes wide open, the teeth bared and grinning with an expression of unendurable agony.
-George Orwell, “Shooting an Elephant”
Talk about it:
1. What is the author’s attitude toward the coolie’s death? What details in the passage reveal this attitude?
2. Examine the last sentence of this paragraph. How would it have affected the overall impact had Orwell written his eyes wide open, his teeth bared and grinning . . . ?
Now you try it: Think of an event that you have personally witnessed which horrified you. Your job is to describe that event and evoke the horror. Do not state or explain that your were horrified; instead, use detail to describe the event and reveal your attitude.
Lesson 24:
Read and think:
Until I returned to Cuba, I never realized how many blues exist. The aquamarines near the shoreline, the azures of deeper waters, the eggshell blues beneath my grandmother’s eyes, the fragile indigos tracking her hands. There’s a blue, too, in the curves of the palms, and the edges of the words we speak, a blue tinge to the sand and the seashells and the plump gulls on the beach. The mole by Abuela’s mouth is also blue, a vanishing blue. -Christina Garcia, Dreaming in Cuban
Talk about it:
1. The narrator details the blues of the landscape and the blues of her grandmother (Abuela). What connection is revealed by this juxtaposition of images?
2. Why is the last blue in the passage a vanishing blue?
Now you try it: Choose a color and describe a scene using at least three varieties of that color. Try to mix details and landscape and people.
Lesson 25:
Read and think:
How fine it is to enter some old town, walled and turreted, just at approach of nightfall, or to come to some straggling village, with the lights streaming through the surrounding gloom; and then, after inquiring for the best entertainment that the place affords, to “take one’s ease at one’s inn”! -William Hazlitt, “On Going a Journey”
Talk about it:
1. What details support the generalization, “how fine it is”?
2. What feelings are evoked by the details of the town (old, walled, turreted)? How does this selection of detail communicate Hazlitt’s attitude toward the town?
Now you try it: Imagine going to a motel after a long day on the road. The motel is the only place to sleep in town, and the next town is 200 miles away. The motel is old and dirty; your room is shabby and dark. Plan a brief monologue which expresses your attitude toward this room. Include specific references to the details that both produce and reveal your attitude.
Lesson 26:
Read and think:
She was wearing her usual at-home vesture…It consisted mostly of a hoary midnight-blue Japanese kimono. She almost invariably wore it through the apartment during the day. With its many occultish-looking folds, it also served as the repository for the paraphernalia of a very heavy cigarette smoker and an amateur handyman; two oversized pockets had been added at the hips, and they usually contained two or three packs of cigarettes, several match folders, a screwdriver, a claw-end hammer, a Boy Scout knife that had once belonged to one of her sons, and an enamel faucet handle or two, plus an assortment of screws, nails, hinges, and ball-bearing casters-all of which tended to make Mrs. Glass chink faintly as she moved about in her large apartment. -J.D. Salinger, Franny and Zooey
Talk about it:
1. What does the detail in the passage reveal about Mrs. Glass’ character? In other words, how does the detail give you a picture of her looks and insight into her character?
2. How would the meaning of the fourth sentence be different without the detail that follows the semicolon?
Now you try it: Sketch a picture of Mrs. Glass. Include in you sketch the details from the passage that you think are most expressive of the author's attitude toward Mrs. Glass.
Lesson 27:
Read and think:
In fact right behind her Gabriel could be seen piloting Freddy Malins across the landing. The latter, a young man of about forty, was of Gabriel’s size and build, with very round shoulders. His face was fleshy and pallid, touched with colour only at the thick hanging lobes of his ears and at the wide wings of his nose. He had coarse features, a blunt nose, a convex and receding brow, tumid and protruded lips. His heavy-lidded eyes and the disorder of his scanty hair made him look sleepy. -James Joyce, “The Dead”
Talk about it:
1. Joyce uses many specific details to describe Freddy’s physical appearance. Fill in the chart below and indicate with a checkmark whether each detail objective (making an observation) or evaluative (making a judgment).
Lesson 23:
Read and think:
I rounded the hut and saw a man’s dead body sprawling in the mud. He was an Indian, a black Dravidian coolie almost naked, and he could not have been dead many minutes. The people said that the elephant had come suddenly upon him round the corner of the hut, caught him with its trunk, put its foot on his back and ground him into the earth. This was the rainy season and the ground was soft, and his face had scored a trench a foot deep and a couple of yards long. He was lying on his belly with arms crucified and head sharply twisted to one side. His face was coated with mud, the eyes wide open, the teeth bared and grinning with an expression of unendurable agony.
-George Orwell, “Shooting an Elephant”
Talk about it:
1. What is the author’s attitude toward the coolie’s death? What details in the passage reveal this attitude?
2. Examine the last sentence of this paragraph. How would it have affected the overall impact had Orwell written his eyes wide open, his teeth bared and grinning . . . ?
Now you try it: Think of an event that you have personally witnessed which horrified you. Your job is to describe that event and evoke the horror. Do not state or explain that your were horrified; instead, use detail to describe the event and reveal your attitude.
Lesson 24:
Read and think:
Until I returned to Cuba, I never realized how many blues exist. The aquamarines near the shoreline, the azures of deeper waters, the eggshell blues beneath my grandmother’s eyes, the fragile indigos tracking her hands. There’s a blue, too, in the curves of the palms, and the edges of the words we speak, a blue tinge to the sand and the seashells and the plump gulls on the beach. The mole by Abuela’s mouth is also blue, a vanishing blue. -Christina Garcia, Dreaming in Cuban
Talk about it:
1. The narrator details the blues of the landscape and the blues of her grandmother (Abuela). What connection is revealed by this juxtaposition of images?
2. Why is the last blue in the passage a vanishing blue?
Now you try it: Choose a color and describe a scene using at least three varieties of that color. Try to mix details and landscape and people.
Lesson 25:
Read and think:
How fine it is to enter some old town, walled and turreted, just at approach of nightfall, or to come to some straggling village, with the lights streaming through the surrounding gloom; and then, after inquiring for the best entertainment that the place affords, to “take one’s ease at one’s inn”! -William Hazlitt, “On Going a Journey”
Talk about it:
1. What details support the generalization, “how fine it is”?
2. What feelings are evoked by the details of the town (old, walled, turreted)? How does this selection of detail communicate Hazlitt’s attitude toward the town?
Now you try it: Imagine going to a motel after a long day on the road. The motel is the only place to sleep in town, and the next town is 200 miles away. The motel is old and dirty; your room is shabby and dark. Plan a brief monologue which expresses your attitude toward this room. Include specific references to the details that both produce and reveal your attitude.
Lesson 26:
Read and think:
She was wearing her usual at-home vesture…It consisted mostly of a hoary midnight-blue Japanese kimono. She almost invariably wore it through the apartment during the day. With its many occultish-looking folds, it also served as the repository for the paraphernalia of a very heavy cigarette smoker and an amateur handyman; two oversized pockets had been added at the hips, and they usually contained two or three packs of cigarettes, several match folders, a screwdriver, a claw-end hammer, a Boy Scout knife that had once belonged to one of her sons, and an enamel faucet handle or two, plus an assortment of screws, nails, hinges, and ball-bearing casters-all of which tended to make Mrs. Glass chink faintly as she moved about in her large apartment. -J.D. Salinger, Franny and Zooey
Talk about it:
1. What does the detail in the passage reveal about Mrs. Glass’ character? In other words, how does the detail give you a picture of her looks and insight into her character?
2. How would the meaning of the fourth sentence be different without the detail that follows the semicolon?
Now you try it: Sketch a picture of Mrs. Glass. Include in you sketch the details from the passage that you think are most expressive of the author's attitude toward Mrs. Glass.
Lesson 27:
Read and think:
In fact right behind her Gabriel could be seen piloting Freddy Malins across the landing. The latter, a young man of about forty, was of Gabriel’s size and build, with very round shoulders. His face was fleshy and pallid, touched with colour only at the thick hanging lobes of his ears and at the wide wings of his nose. He had coarse features, a blunt nose, a convex and receding brow, tumid and protruded lips. His heavy-lidded eyes and the disorder of his scanty hair made him look sleepy. -James Joyce, “The Dead”
Talk about it:
1. Joyce uses many specific details to describe Freddy’s physical appearance. Fill in the chart below and indicate with a checkmark whether each detail objective (making an observation) or evaluative (making a judgment).
2. What is Joyce's attitude toward Freddy? Which specific details reveal this attitude?
Now you try it: Write a paragraph describing a character’s personality by describing his or her physical traits. Do not make any direct statements about his or her personality or character. Instead, use detail about appearance to capture character.
Lesson 28:
Read and think:
We went upstairs, through period bedrooms swathed in rose and lavender silk and vivid with new flowers, through dressing-rooms and poolrooms, and bathrooms with sunken baths—intruding into one chamber where a disheveled man in pajamas was doing liver exercises on the floor. -F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
Talk about it:
1. List three general adjectives that you could use to describe this house. Explain the connection between the detail Fitzgerald's sentence and the adjective you have chosen.
2. How does the disheveled man in pajamas . . . doing liver exercises on the floor help create the mood and atmosphere of the house?
Now you try it: Rewrite the sentence eliminating the specific detail. Discuss the change in impact and meaning.
Lesson 29:
Read and think:
“My grandfather took me to the back of his house, to a room that my mother said was private, that she had yanked me away from when I once had tried to look. It had a bead curtain at the door and we passed through it and the beads rustled like tall grass. The room was dim, lit by candles, and it smelled of incense, and my grandfather stood me before a little shrine with flowers and a smoking incense bowl and two brass candlesticks and between them a photo of a man in a Chinese mandarin hat.”
-Robert Olen Butler, “Mr. Green”, A Good Scent from a Strange Mountain
Talk about it:
1. The first sentence states that the room is private. The author then uses specific details to illustrate the privacy. How does this detail define and focus the privacy of the room?
2. Most of the passage is filled with detail describing the room. Which detail do you think adds most to the impact of the passage? Why?
Now you try it: Write a sentence in which you use an action to characterize the state of loneliness. Use the first sentence of this passage as a model.
Lesson 30:
Read and think:
The wild gander leads his flock through the cool night,
Ya-honk! he says, and sounds it down to me like an invitation;
The pert may suppose it meaningless, but I listen close,
Find its purpose and place up there toward the wintry sky.
The sharp-hoof'd moose of the north, the cat on the house-sill, the chickadee, the prairie-dog,
The litter of the grunting sow as they tug at her teats,
The brood of the turkey-hen and she with her half-spread wings,
I see in them and myself the same old law.
-Walt Whitman, "Song of Myself," Leaves of Grass
Talk about it:
1. What is the conclusion of the last line? Which details in the passage support this conclusion?
2. The animals in these stanzas are specific and detailed. In contrast, the ambience (the cool night, the wintry sky) is more general. What attitude is revealed by this difference?
Now you try it: Rewrite the passage, describing the night at the sky in great detail and the animals in general terms. Discuss how this change shifts the meaning of the passage.
Lesson 31:
Read and think:
The day has been hot and sultry. The sun has set behind great banks of clouds which are piling up on the northwestern horizon. Now that the light is beginning to fade, the great masses of cumulus, which are slowly gathering and rising higher toward the zenith, are 1it up by pale flashes of sheet-lightning. -W.J. Holland, "Sugaring for Moths," The Moth Book
Talk about it:
1. What are the details that contribute to the reader's mental picture of the clouds? List these details and discuss the significance of the order of their presentation.
2. What is sheet-lightning? Why is it more effective to say sheet-lightning than lightning?
Now you try it: Write three sentences that vividly describe a country scene. In your description use at least two details drawn from the world of science. Use your dictionary if you need to. Remember that it is better to name a specific tree than to use the general word tree. Create a free website Powered by Start your own free website A surprisingly easy drag & drop site creator. Learn more.
Now you try it: Write a paragraph describing a character’s personality by describing his or her physical traits. Do not make any direct statements about his or her personality or character. Instead, use detail about appearance to capture character.
Lesson 28:
Read and think:
We went upstairs, through period bedrooms swathed in rose and lavender silk and vivid with new flowers, through dressing-rooms and poolrooms, and bathrooms with sunken baths—intruding into one chamber where a disheveled man in pajamas was doing liver exercises on the floor. -F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
Talk about it:
1. List three general adjectives that you could use to describe this house. Explain the connection between the detail Fitzgerald's sentence and the adjective you have chosen.
2. How does the disheveled man in pajamas . . . doing liver exercises on the floor help create the mood and atmosphere of the house?
Now you try it: Rewrite the sentence eliminating the specific detail. Discuss the change in impact and meaning.
Lesson 29:
Read and think:
“My grandfather took me to the back of his house, to a room that my mother said was private, that she had yanked me away from when I once had tried to look. It had a bead curtain at the door and we passed through it and the beads rustled like tall grass. The room was dim, lit by candles, and it smelled of incense, and my grandfather stood me before a little shrine with flowers and a smoking incense bowl and two brass candlesticks and between them a photo of a man in a Chinese mandarin hat.”
-Robert Olen Butler, “Mr. Green”, A Good Scent from a Strange Mountain
Talk about it:
1. The first sentence states that the room is private. The author then uses specific details to illustrate the privacy. How does this detail define and focus the privacy of the room?
2. Most of the passage is filled with detail describing the room. Which detail do you think adds most to the impact of the passage? Why?
Now you try it: Write a sentence in which you use an action to characterize the state of loneliness. Use the first sentence of this passage as a model.
Lesson 30:
Read and think:
The wild gander leads his flock through the cool night,
Ya-honk! he says, and sounds it down to me like an invitation;
The pert may suppose it meaningless, but I listen close,
Find its purpose and place up there toward the wintry sky.
The sharp-hoof'd moose of the north, the cat on the house-sill, the chickadee, the prairie-dog,
The litter of the grunting sow as they tug at her teats,
The brood of the turkey-hen and she with her half-spread wings,
I see in them and myself the same old law.
-Walt Whitman, "Song of Myself," Leaves of Grass
Talk about it:
1. What is the conclusion of the last line? Which details in the passage support this conclusion?
2. The animals in these stanzas are specific and detailed. In contrast, the ambience (the cool night, the wintry sky) is more general. What attitude is revealed by this difference?
Now you try it: Rewrite the passage, describing the night at the sky in great detail and the animals in general terms. Discuss how this change shifts the meaning of the passage.
Lesson 31:
Read and think:
The day has been hot and sultry. The sun has set behind great banks of clouds which are piling up on the northwestern horizon. Now that the light is beginning to fade, the great masses of cumulus, which are slowly gathering and rising higher toward the zenith, are 1it up by pale flashes of sheet-lightning. -W.J. Holland, "Sugaring for Moths," The Moth Book
Talk about it:
1. What are the details that contribute to the reader's mental picture of the clouds? List these details and discuss the significance of the order of their presentation.
2. What is sheet-lightning? Why is it more effective to say sheet-lightning than lightning?
Now you try it: Write three sentences that vividly describe a country scene. In your description use at least two details drawn from the world of science. Use your dictionary if you need to. Remember that it is better to name a specific tree than to use the general word tree. Create a free website Powered by Start your own free website A surprisingly easy drag & drop site creator. Learn more.